


Protected Realm

by ChooseToLive



Series: Becoming a Universe Within [3]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Character Development, Character Study, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-25
Updated: 2010-07-25
Packaged: 2017-10-10 19:36:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/103494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChooseToLive/pseuds/ChooseToLive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Embarking upon their new romantic relationship, Adam, Kris and Katy revel in its pleasure and novelty, taking shelter in each other, until they are faced with a reality that includes unexpected challenges.  Navigating the pressure from outside forces will only be half their battle; the most important ones will be those waged from within.  Third in a <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/series/4033">series</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always, this story owes so much to my beta [lovetoseverus](http://lovetoseverus.livejournal.com/), who has served as sounding board, critic, and friend, and whose insights into my characters both humble and inspire me. Thanks for continuing with me on this journey! I also want to thank [kradamite](http://kradamite.livejournal.com/) for lending a fresh set of eyes when I couldn't see the forest for the trees.
> 
> Finally, many thanks go to [peculiar_mind](http://peculiar-mind.livejournal.com) for creating [this beautiful banner](http://peculiar-mind.livejournal.com/108240.html) for the story, and with very limited time and resources. Head over and tell her how lovely it is!
> 
> This story was originally posted for the first [kradambigbang](http://community.livejournal.com/kradambigbang/).

Adam had never been very good at resisting impulses. 

He booked the cabin in Tahoe before he really thought about asking Katy and Kris.  It had just felt like the right move, after the endless weeks of promotion and press junkets that had given them but scant days together.  Adam had seen the light at the end of the tunnel - beyond television appearances, Jingle Balls, Hanukkah and Christmas and New Year’s Eve - and jumped on the opportunity for a vacation, feeling rather like a drowning man going after a life preserver.

A moment’s consideration, however, had given him pause.  Kris had been just as busy as Adam; perhaps he and Katy would want some time alone.  There was family in Arkansas that they hadn’t seen in months.  And despite the oversized bed now occupying most of Kris and Katy’s bedroom, Adam couldn’t help but wonder if, in the intervening time, they’d reconsidered the wisdom of their relationship with him. 

When he’d hesitantly explained that he thought it might be nice to spend the week together, however, they’d immediately responded that they couldn’t wait.  And Kris and Katy had cut short their New Year’s plans, changed their plane tickets, and flown out to meet him in snowy California on the first day of the year.

When he opened the front door to see them standing there, grinning with cheeks flushed from the cold, he shoved the doubt away.

Cold air whooshed in as he found himself with arms full of two petite bodies, snuggled in tight, and he couldn’t help but laugh.  “I’ve missed you so much!” Adam exclaimed, pressing his face into their hair.  “It feels like forever since I’ve seen you.”

“Missed you missed you missed you,” Kris said into his neck, then leaned up and kissed him, sloppy and happy. 

Katy was laughing her bright, carefree laugh, and Adam twirled her in a circle before leaning down to taste the sound.  Her mouth felt clear like water, warm like home. 

“Come in, it’s freezing!”  There was a jumbled rush to get luggage inside and into the bedroom, brushing off snow flurries that had dusted bags and shoulders.

Kris attached himself like a limpet as soon as their hands were free, and Adam hugged him back, his smile widening uncontrollably at the feeling of having Kris in his arms again.  They all made their way into the den and collapsed on the sofa in a tangle of arms and legs.

They remained there for awhile, just murmuring and touching; trying, it felt to Adam, to be as close as possible without having to bother with removing clothing.  He reveled in it, in the warm bodies around him, touching and stroking whoever he reached first, absorbing the unconditional affection like a sponge.  It felt so good, after weeks of being paraded around, asked questions about how different he was, and being greeted with skepticism or veiled hostility. 

“I missed you guys so much,” he repeated, sighing into Kris’ hair.  He felt Katy’s lips against his temple, her fingers running soothingly along his scalp. 

“It’s over now,” Kris said.  “We’re together now.  Things will be calm for awhile.”

“Yeah,” Adam sighed, then laughed semi-hysterically, wondering if he would know what to do with himself when every minute wasn’t planned for him. 

When the initial euphoria had worn down a bit, their bodies turning languid, Katy looked at their surroundings.  “This is a beautiful place,” she said, taking in the vaulted ceiling and the large picture window overlooking the lake.  “Good choice.”

Kris’ gaze was fixed on the fireplace, in which rested a pile of slightly scorched logs and a mound of ash.  “We should build a fire.”

Adam grimaced.  “You’ll have to.  I lack the requisite man skills.”

Katy giggled, and Kris got up to poke at the hearth.  “Is there any kindling?”

“I burned a whole newspaper,” Adam said, “but the logs wouldn’t catch.”

He thought he saw a grin on Kris’ face before Kris turned away, rearranging the logs and digging around in the area by the hearth.  Adam looked at Katy.  “While Caveman there builds his fire, let’s gather provisions.”  He waggled his eyebrows.  “S’mores.”

***

It was only the second time he’d been able to wake up with them.  No alarm clocks, no pressure, just the slow awareness that came with the morning. 

A beam of light hit his eyes, and Adam shifted onto his side, away from the sun filtering through the curtains.  He could feel the warmth from two bodies on either side of him, and blinked his eyes open to see Katy’s face on the pillow before him.  She looked perfectly innocent, pale lashes resting on an apple cheek, which began to stir in response to his movement.  Her eyes opened and met his, and she smiled, warm and happy.

“Morn-” a yawn cracked into her greeting, “-ing,” she said, blinking at him sleepily.  He returned the smile, then reached out and pushed away a strand of hair that had fallen in her face.  Her hand came up from beneath the covers and caught his; her fingers were tiny against his own, but they were warm and strong. 

They lay there for awhile, quiet, drowsing a little with their hands intertwined.  Then Adam shifted onto his back, turning his head to the other side.

Kris lay on his stomach, face slack in sleep, mouth slightly open.  The light piercing through the curtains transformed his hair into a golden halo, and Adam’s hand reached out of its own accord to trace down the impossibly smooth skin of Kris’ cheek, until stubble tickled his fingertips.

Kris’ mouth worked a little, twitching in response to Adam’s touch, and then his eyes blinked open.  When his gaze fell on Adam, a slow smile broke on his face, and he pressed his forehead against Adam’s shoulder as he stretched. 

Adam slid an arm around Kris’ waist, pulling the trim body flush against his, grinning like mad.  He could feel Kris’ smile against his skin, and breathed in the scent of Kris’ hair.  He didn’t know if this happiness would ever grow commonplace, even if he were able to wake up next to Kris for the rest of his life. 

A petite body curled up against his back, and Adam released Kris enough to let him kiss his wife good morning over Adam’s shoulder.  Katy dropped another kiss on Adam’s cheek, then rolled out of bed and padded towards the bathroom. 

Adam slid his hand up Kris’ back and kissed him, long and deep.  Time, he reminded himself; he had time, and he was going to use it.  A small moan came from Kris, and Adam lost himself in the kiss, in the warm slide of tongues and the tug of fingers in his hair. 

Their morning erections bumped together, and Adam let out a muffled groan, automatically moving towards the pressure.  Kris drew back a little, taking a second before pushing his hips towards Adam, their knees bumping as they searched for good leverage.  Adam reached down and ran a hand down Kris’ thigh, pulling Kris’ leg over his hip.  Kris immediately caught on and pressed their hips together, drawing sounds from both of them, and Adam wanted nothing more than to roll Kris over and take him. 

He kissed him instead, and rolled their hips together before reaching between them and gathering them both in his hand.  At the first stroke, Kris’ mouth separated from his with a gasp, and they panted against each other while Adam jerked them off. 

Then Kris seemed to regain his faculties a bit, and he brought his hand between them, letting it fall on Adam’s.  Adam let him feel the movement for a moment, then loosened his grip to allow Kris to take the lead.  Their fingers stroked over each other as Kris explored, and Adam watched Kris’ face through hooded eyes, loving the little furrow of concentration on his brow. 

Kris’ hand wasn’t quite big enough to get a good grip on both of them, but he wrapped strong fingers around Adam and gave an experimental tug.  Adam gave a little gasp of approval, and tried to reciprocate, but Kris batted him away.  He ran his hand down Kris’ back instead, feeling the sheen of sweat, the flex of muscle where his back met his ass.

It took Kris a moment to find a rhythm, the angle clearly unfamiliar; but even the irregular strokes caused him to shiver, each a potent reminder that it was _Kris_ touching him, _Kris_ learning, _Kris_ wanting to give him pleasure.  Adam shuddered under Kris’ hands, guiding him with clutching fingers and whispers of approval, giving over to the sensations of Kris’ eager touch. 

Then Kris’ eyes found him, gaze intent and focused.  Adam gasped, finding himself suddenly on the brink, and as he thrust into Kris’ hand he saw a flare of gratification in caramel eyes.  Leaning forward, Adam kissed him, messy and passionate as he came into Kris’ hand. 

When he opened his eyes again, both of them were breathing hard, and Adam smiled lazily.  He watched Kris’ eyes burn as he lifted the strong hand to his mouth, and as Adam began to lick it clean, there was a low gasp behind him.

He turned and saw Katy standing there, face flushed and lips parted.  She had put on a robe, and clutched at it tightly, staring down at them. 

Adam felt a bit caught out, and wondered if this was allowed, if he’d violated an unspoken rule by having Kris without Katy.  They had never laid down any guidelines for that sort of thing, and now he was unsure.

But Katy didn’t look upset, and Kris sat up a little and beckoned to her, eyes heated.  Suddenly feeling a bit extraneous, Adam rolled out of the bed to take his turn in the bathroom.

“Adam.”  Kris’ voice was low and rough, and Adam turned to meet his gaze.  “Come right back, okay?”  Adam nodded, caught up in the intensity of Kris’ eyes, then turned away as Katy climbed back in to the bed.

In the bathroom, Adam took care of business and wiped himself clean of his morning orgasm.  He quickly washed his face and brushed his teeth, then grimaced as he caught sight of his reflection.  Extreme bedhead, and face bare, pockmarked and freckled.  He hesitated for a moment, remembering Kris’ words.  But he gave in, taking the time to shave and rub on foundation, before grabbing his hairbrush to attempt to tame the mess.

When he finally emerged, Kris was flushed and panting, and Katy had a pleased smile as she ran her hand down Kris’ side.  They looked up when he approached, and Kris’ gaze took in his face. 

Kris got up on his knees, gloriously messy from the results of his orgasm, and took Adam’s face in his hands.  “You took too long,” he said softly, then kissed him, long and slow.

Adam felt himself melt into the kiss, his hands sliding along Kris’ waist, pulling their bodies together.  They fit together perfectly, and it seemed as if Kris knew exactly how to touch him, speak to him, to make him feel cherished.  Maybe he’d always known.  It was times like this when Adam felt the doubts slip away, until all that existed was the moment.

Kris drew away, slowly, staring at Adam for a long minute with his warm, focused gaze.  Then he was slipping off the bed and walking away. 

It took a concerted effort to not stare after him, but Adam looked at the bed instead, and saw Katy smiling up at him affectionately.

At her gesture, he got in next to her, but despite her warm expression found himself unsure about what to do next.  He didn’t know how to handle a woman; wasn’t sure what she expected.  And if he was honest, he was a little jealous that it had been she to bring Kris off that morning rather than himself.

But she took the lead, leaning over to kiss him softly and snuggle up next to him.  He let his hands drift over her, feeling her softness and curves, curious about how different her body felt under his hands.  She made an approving noise when his hand skimmed her breast, and he cupped it gently, testing its weight in his palm. 

Watching the way her flesh conformed to his, he asked quietly, “What do you like?”  He knew about women in theory, but he knew enough about people to know that they were all different.  And that women were more complicated than men.

“I like that,” she replied, smiling and arching lazily into his palm.  “I like a lot of things.  Do what you feel comfortable with, Adam.  I’ll let you know if something doesn’t feel good.”  She kissed him lightly.  “But it’s unlikely.”

He smiled crookedly, unsure if her words helped or not; but then she kissed him again, and he stopped worrying about it.  Kissing was universal, natural and easy, and he found his hands moving of their own accord while their mouths explored each other.

The bed shifted, and Katy broke away with a soft sound.  Adam opened his eyes to see Kris kneeling over them, staring with dark eyes.  “That,” he said roughly, “is the hottest thing I have ever seen.”

***

Snow was not an unfamiliar thing to Katy.  Arkansas typically saw a few snowfalls each winter, and she had always enjoyed the highlight that nature placed on the hills, before the next day’s sun melted it away.  It was different in California, however; the thick white covered nearly everything, almost otherworldly.  It made sounds both crisper and muted, as if the natural reverberation had been stripped away, letting her hear every crunch-squeak of boots in the snow.

Skiing was an entirely new experience.  The clothes were big and bulky, the boots stiff, and she felt like she had lead weights strapped to her feet.  Lead weights that moved and tangled with each other of their own accord.

But she listened to Adam’s instructions, and managed to navigate her way on and off the bunny hill lift without disaster.  She was just feeling a little rush of triumph at her success when there was a “Whoaa!” from behind.  Turning her head, she was just in time to see Kris closing in on her, and they went down in a heap.

Adam’s laughter rang out clearly in the thin, cold air; Katy looked up at him, a tall shock of black against an almost painfully blue sky.  His eyes matched its color as he leaned down to help them untangle themselves.

“The most important thing you will ever learn about skiing,” Adam said, laughter still present in his face, “is how to stop.  That will be our next lesson.”

He helped them up - “Here, move your legs downhill, it’s sooo much easier to get up,” “Make sure your skis are perpendicular to the slope, or else you’ll start moving as soon as you stand up!” - and resumed their instruction.

It was far from their only fall, but Katy found that she didn’t really mind.  The snow was soft, if cold, and they weren’t the only ones struggling on the beginner slope.  Adam wasn’t an advanced skier himself, but he was a patient teacher, and they were all kept warm by their laughter.

They stopped for lunch after only a few runs, but Katy found that she was starving as they retreated to the lodge.  The dining area was set up cafeteria style, and she was a bit dismayed to find that the seating was, also.  Adam quietly slipped on a pair of sunglasses and a hat, and Kris kept his sunglasses on, as well.  Though they tried to find an isolated place to sit, the room was crowded, and the seats around them filled.  Adam kept his head down until the group across from them began speaking to each other in German, and Katy didn’t attempt to hide her relief. 

They enjoyed their lunch after that, and even managed some conversation with their tablemates.  Once they were finished, Katy felt refreshed and ready to tackle the slopes again.

It felt easier in the afternoon, the instruction and break working together to make them more comfortable on their skis.  Katy was beginning to get a feel for the snow, and how her balance affected direction and speed, as the run began to fall into shadow.

At the end of the day, Adam declared them ready to ski down without help.  Before they could protest, he was zipping down the slope, bright blue scarf streaming behind him.  Kris and Katy looked at each other, laughed, and followed.

They didn’t fall once.

*

Kris tilted his head back with a groan and sank deeper into the hot tub.  “People do that for fun, huh?”  He cracked an eye open and glared playfully at Adam.

Adam laughed, stretching out and taking up far more room than he should.  “Admit it, you had a good time.”

A smile quirked Kris’ lips, and his eyes slid shut again.  “I did, if having fun means being incredibly sore.  Then I had so much fun I might never move again.”

Adam’s answering chuckle was darker now.  “Oh no, baby, that day is still to come.”  He caught Katy’s eye and winked.

She felt a rush of heat, beyond that of the hot water, and held her breath as she looked at Kris.  His eyes flew open wide, gaze fixing on Adam’s face.  He bit his lip, and Katy could see the curiosity there, the silent request, before his gaze dropped and he shifted uncertainly. 

Adam sat up and moved closer to Kris, sliding a hand behind Kris’ back before bending to murmur in his ear.  Katy couldn’t hear above the rumble of the jets, but Kris’ eyes shot up to meet Adam’s, naked want in them.  Adam’s eyes were darkened with an answering desire, his face warmed with affection.

Katy watched as the world contracted to just the two of them, and a shiver came over her that she couldn’t identify.  Her breath caught when Adam lowered his head, first kissing Kris’ forehead, then his cheekbone, and finally his mouth.

The kiss lingered, Kris pliant under Adam in a way she hadn’t seen before, seeming to just take Adam in.  She inhaled shakily, and Adam’s hand came up to cup Kris’ face, thumb stroking lightly at Kris’ cheek before pulling away. 

Kris’ eyes were dark with a familiar heat when he opened them to look at Adam again, and the shyness of before was no longer present.  Adam smiled down at him, warm and confident.  “Soon,” he murmured. 

Kris nodded.

***

It was a couple of days before Adam was able to stop hoarding moments.  He wasn’t used to it; didn’t know how to turn off the part of his brain that was constantly aware of how long they had left together before they said goodbye. 

But this time, there was no alarm clock to wake them up too early and drive them from each other.  Instead of feeling as if he should take advantage of every minute, every look, every caress, he found himself beginning to relax a bit.  To let time flow around them, carrying them from moment to moment instead of fighting it.

***

Katy woke slowly, becoming aware of the sun and the particular stillness in the air that signified the afternoon.  Yawning, she looked over at the clock, pleased to see that she still had time to get ready for their dinner reservations.

She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, shaking off the last vestiges of her nap.  Skiing was fun, but exhausting.  Running a hand through her hair, she stood and headed for the bathroom.

She pushed the door open, and jumped when it revealed Adam standing at the counter, his cosmetics bag open in front of him.  “Oh!” she said.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t know you were in here.”  Feeling flustered, she began to pull the door shut.

“Katy, it’s okay,” Adam said, and she could hear laughter in his voice.  “Come on in.”  Then he paused.  “Unless… you want _me_ to leave,” only then sounding a bit awkward.

“No, no.”  Katy entered again, going to the other sink and finding her toothbrush.  She felt a little ridiculous; it was just Adam, who was clearly comfortable sharing space with anyone, and it wasn’t like she and Kris didn’t walk in on each other all the time.

Shaking off the discomfort, she finished brushing and got her own makeup out, but found herself watching Adam apply eyeshadow out of the corner of her eye.  It was a part of him she’d never seen before, though Kris had; she’d always laughed at the stories of Kris helping Adam do his hair, but now it felt personal; intimate in a different way.

It was, she realized, not so different from when she and Kris were on their honeymoon; when it wasn’t the big events that made their marriage seem real, but the small, everyday ones.  She felt a smile curve her lips even as amazement and a bit of awe curled in her belly.  This was normal, now; doing her makeup with Adam would become a regular occurrence, and sharing personal space would cease to be weird.

They were really doing this.

Adam caught her eye in the mirror and raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow.  “What are you smiling about?” he asked, voice lilting and amused.

Katy grinned sheepishly.  “Thinking about how much this reminds me of my honeymoon, actually.”

The other eyebrow rose.  “Kris did his makeup with you?”

She rolled her eyes and laughed.  “That would be the day!  No, just… redefining boundaries, you know?  Or eliminating them, I guess.”

He considered her for a moment, face growing serious.  “Yeah,” he murmured, actions stilling.  Then he broke her gaze and started digging in his bag, emerging with an eyeliner and applying it with silent concentration.

***

It was snowing their final night in Tahoe.

They almost didn’t need to discuss it; the three of them gathered up blankets and went onto the covered porch, curling up together on the sofa there.  Adam held them both, curled up against his shoulders, their breathing warm against his neck.

There was no sound; not so much as a breeze or a passing car to disturb the quiet.  The only light was the moon, diffused by clouds and making the flakes glow as they fell.

Adam soaked it in, appreciating every nuance: the softness of the couch beneath him, the contrast of cold air with warm blankets and bodies, the weight of Kris and Katy’s heads on his shoulders.  He wasn’t used to such stillness in his relationships; they tended to be loud, and extroverted, and generally _fun_, but also demanding.

Yet now, so much of his life was chaotic and public, and he wondered if it made him gravitate towards the stability that Kris and Katy practically radiated.

He smiled a little to himself.  He’d always gravitated towards stability; he’d just never found it before.

Even now, he wasn’t sure.  What they were doing was dangerous, and fraught with complications, and he knew he would lose if a split had to occur. 

But for now, they were together, and Adam resolved to enjoy it for as long as it lasted.


	2. Chapter 2

It was on the airplane that Adam began to feel the harsh fingers of reality pulling at his life again. 

His seat was in the row ahead of Kris and Katy’s, as the first class aisles were only two seats wide, and no matter how much he might want to they couldn’t just squeeze in together. 

LAX was the usual madhouse, the time waiting for their bags spent trying to be inconspicuous and fending off “charity workers” pleading for donations.  Then they climbed into separate cars, Adam heading for his condo, Kris and Katy for their house.

The day was overcast with a drizzling rain, tying up traffic and rendering the city in shades of gray.  He watched the cement crawl by, buildings growing taller and closer together as he went north on La Cienega, towards home. 

Once inside his front door, he saw a tall stack of mail on the kitchen table.  He placed his phone by it, steeling himself as he powered it on for the first time in a week.  Twenty-nine voicemails.

He didn’t want to think about his email inbox.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, trying to restore his inner balance by picturing the night before: snuggling together with Kris and Katy as they watched the snow fall.  Trying to bring back every sense from that night: the warmth, peace, contentment, love.  The quiet.

The phone rang.  Adam sighed.

*

He had his nose to his laptop when his ringtone sounded for the sixth time that day.  Glancing over, he smiled when he saw Kris’ picture on the display.  “Hey, baby.”

“Hey yourself.”  He could hear the smile in the low voice.  “How buried are you in catching up?”

“Up to my eyeballs,” Adam replied.  “You too, I’m sure.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Kris said, “except you would.  Can you bring it over here?  We’ll order pizza and make like a study party from college.”

Adam grinned.  “Can’t say I went to any of those, but it sounds a helluva lot more fun than sitting here.”

*

Within an hour he was on the sofa next to Kris, a piece of pizza in one hand while he pecked out an email with the other.  Katy set down fresh beers in front of them, and he threw her a grin in thanks.  She sat down on the other side of the coffee table, surrounded by piles of mail - both Adam’s and Kris’ - and began sorting it.

The room was quiet, filled only with the tap of keyboards and the shuffle of paper.  Adam smiled to himself as he composed a reply to his stylist; it was amazing how just being surrounded by his lovers made a tedious experience into an enjoyable one.  He felt more centered, grounded; like he belonged.

Kris’ phone rang, and he stood as he answered, wandering down the hall where his voice didn’t carry.  Adam tracked him with his eyes, feeling his face relax into a smile as he watched Kris talk earnestly with his manager.  Somewhere along the way, the self-deprecating Southern boy had been replaced with a confident man who knew what he wanted.  Adam felt a surge of pride, followed by a deep pleasure: this confident Kris wanted _him_, he and his amazing wife were willing to go way beyond the boundaries of propriety and convention for _him_, had welcomed him into their lives and bed to the point where he felt more at home with them than at his own house.

He turned his gaze back towards the laptop screen, and caught Katy’s knowing smile.  He felt a rush of affection for her; on impulse, he moved off the sofa to sit next to her, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her close. 

Katy snuggled into his embrace, leaning her head on his shoulder.  “I love how you look at Kris; seeing how much you love him,” she murmured.

Adam felt his face heat a little, and buried his smile in her hair, before leaning down and kissing her cheek.

She laughed.  “What was that for?”

“Because you are the epitome of cool,” Adam declared.

“Well, the feeling is mutual.”  She returned the kiss and then waved a few envelopes with handwritten addresses at him.  “I bet these folks agree with me, too.  Looks like some fans found your P.O. box number.”

Adam groaned.  “Shit, the mail service is gonna kill me if my box explodes again.”  He broke the seal on the top envelope and pulled out the letter.  His eyebrows rose.  “How much are you betting they love me, Katy?”

She narrowed her eyes.  “A new outfit.  Why?” 

“We’re going shopping, then.”  He flipped the letter over between two fingers, and gave her a wide-eyed look.  “They say I’m a disgusting pervert,” he said, feigning shock.  “Which, okay, I can take as a compliment, but I doubt that’s how they meant it.”

“What-” Katy snatched the letter and glanced over it, her face scrunching in a scowl.  “Assholes,” she said, throwing the paper behind her.

Adam laughed at her expression.  “It’s okay, I can take it.  They’re entitled to their opinion.”  He rolled his eyes.

“And I’m entitled to mine, which is that they should get the hell over it already.”  She took the other envelopes back from Adam.  “I’m going to send these on to management, they can screen them like the rest of the fan mail.”

Adam chuckled and let her have them, pressing a quick kiss to her temple.

“Am I missing the love-in?”  Kris’ deep voice sounded behind them.

Adam reached back to grab his hand, pulling him between them.  “It’s not a love-in without you, baby.”

***

The Jenga tower collapsed on the coffee table with a clatter, leaving Kris holding a single block in what was now mid-air.  Adam laughed and Kris groaned, collapsing back on the sofa.  “I suck at this tonight.”  He turned the remaining piece over and over in his hands, eyes darting towards Adam in a gesture Katy knew had nothing to do with the game.

She had seen his nerves all evening, heard them in the too-quick laugh, seen how his wide eyes never left Adam.  She couldn’t blame him; she remembered how apprehensive she had been, and how it hadn’t been entirely unwarranted.  Her own body tingled, fingertips itching with something between anxiety and anticipation.

“Don’t think about it so much, baby,” Adam murmured, handing Kris his beer before sliding a hand behind Kris’ back.  He tugged gently, and Kris leaned against him, bodies close.  “Relax.  You’re so tense.”  Black-tipped fingers appeared from behind to rub Kris’ shoulder.

Kris gave a short laugh.  “Don’t know if I’ll be able to do that,” he said, and took a long pull from the bottle in his hand.

Adam smirked.  “Oh, you will,” he said, confident, and pressed a kiss to Kris’ forehead.  Adam’s pale eyes looked up to meet Katy’s, inviting, and she moved in closer on Kris’ other side.

His skin was hot under her lips, and Kris gave a tiny sound as she sucked on his neck, stretching it to give her more room.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Adam encouraging Kris to drink his beer, and Katy licked up his neck as Kris swallowed.

When the bottle was empty, Adam took it from Kris and placed it on the table.  Kris was unwinding a bit now, ensconced closely between Adam and Katy, and turned his head to take Katy’s mouth with his.  She kissed him deeply, ignoring the taste of beer in favor of the warmth of his mouth, the familiar and arousing stroke of his tongue.  Her hand went up to cup his face, and her fingers brushed against hair of a length and texture she knew to be Adam.

Kris gave a surprised little moan, and she cracked her eyes to see Adam mouthing along the back of Kris’ neck.  Kris’ body was turned towards her now, and Adam had snugged up behind him, one arm wrapping around Kris’ torso and fondling his chest.

Their mouths grew hungrier, hands caressing.  Katy’s fingers drifted down to Kris’ collar, and she began unbuttoning the shirt, only to encounter Adam’s hands moving up, meeting in the middle as Kris’ shirt fell away.  Then Adam pushed Kris back against the sofa, lowering his head to Kris’ chest, wet kisses audible as he sucked on Kris’ nipples.  Kris moaned against Katy’s mouth, and she pulled away, dropping her head to work Kris’ neck again.

Kris was squirming against them, little sounds of pleasure filling the air as his hands pushed ineffectively at their clothes.  Katy reached down to the button of Kris’ jeans, just teasing, brushing over the soft skin beneath the waistband while Kris gave a little jerk of his hips.  But their position on the sofa was becoming unwieldy, and Katy raised her head to gasp, “Bed?” at Adam.

His gaze, glowing with pleasure, rose to meet hers from his spot on Kris’ right nipple.  He pulled away with a pop, and nuzzled his way up Kris’ neck to his ear before murmuring, low and rough, “Yes, bed.”

Kris’ eyes opened, dark with arousal, and he turned to find Adam’s mouth with his.  Adam’s face softened, eyes slipping shut as their mouths worked against each other.  A big hand came up to cup Kris’ face, so gently, before Adam drew away.  “Come on,” he murmured, his forehead pressed to Kris’, and Katy felt a shiver run through Kris’ body. 

Awareness returned to Kris’ face as they approached the bed, his eyes fixing on it, breath quickening.  Katy was about to step up and distract him with a kiss when Adam’s hand fell on her waist, redirecting her.

Then Adam’s mouth was on hers, and she gasped, arching instinctively into him.  Everything about Adam was different from Kris: his taste and texture, his height, his scent.  She licked at the gloss on his lips, felt his mouth part to allow their tongues to tangle.  His kisses were warm but authoritative, and Katy found it easy to yield to them.

His hands pushed up her shirt, and she shrugged it off before stepping back against him.  Her mouth only came up to his chest, so she tugged at his buttons until the pale skin was exposed for her to kiss and suck.  It took a couple of tries for him to undo her bra clasp, and she stifled a giggle at the realization that Adam was not quite so adept in that area.  It was oddly endearing, and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him when the clasp finally gave way.  Long fingers gently traced the indentations in her skin left by the elastic, pausing just shy of her breasts.  She gave a little whimper of frustration and arched toward him.

Then Kris’ arms were encircling her from behind, reaching out to take Adam’s hands, pressing them firmly against Katy’s chest.  Adam’s eyes darkened, and Katy groaned as she arched into Adam’s big palms, feeling his fingers begin to knead and pluck at her nipples.

“Mmm,” she breathed, clasping his wrist to hold his hand in place.  “So good.”

Adam gave a throaty chuckle, and continued to caress her as she finished unbuttoning his shirt.  Leaning forward, she closed her mouth around a pale nipple, the perfect height, paying back the sensations.  A soft gasp emerged as his chest shuddered under her lips, a hand rising to cup her head, gently holding her there.

Kris’ hands came around her waist to unfasten her pants, and he pushed them to the floor before pressing himself flush against her.  He was naked now, and she gasped against Adam’s chest, feeling the hot press of Kris’ erection against the small of her back.  She arched forward into Adam and heard him groan as his denim-clad length pressed against her.  She scrabbled at his jeans, suddenly wanting to feel them both against her, surrounding her.

She managed to get the tight denim unfastened, and shoved it down slim hips before pulling him against her stomach.  Adam’s arms had reached behind her now, around to Kris, and she suddenly found herself sandwiched between the two men, overwhelmed with heat and hardness.  There were moist sounds coming from over her shoulder; she knew without looking that Adam and Kris were kissing passionately.  She moaned and writhed between them, being touched all over and yet growing desperate for more intimate contact.  She reached out and found Kris’ hand, and drew it between her and Adam.  He moved between her legs without further guidance, sliding between her folds and stroking.  She cried out and jerked against him, and felt Adam groan at the resulting pressure on his own cock.

She had the presence of mind to push Adam’s shirt from his shoulders before she wrapped her arms around his waist, clinging to him to hold herself up as she rolled her hips against Kris’ fingers.  Adam moved with her, his dick pressed between them, slick with sweat and pre-come.  She felt lips against her face, neck, shoulders, and was no longer coherent enough to know whose were whose.  Kris ground against her back, his fingers rubbing against her insistently as she bucked against him and tipped over the edge.

Kris continued to work her until she pushed his hand away, gasping for air between two bodies that were suddenly a bit suffocating.  As she began to come down, she leaned up and caught Adam’s mouth in a kiss, then turned to meet Kris’, turning languid with satisfaction. 

Then she shoved him gently onto the bed, a smile growing as she remembered what they were actually there for.  Kris gave a low chuckle, which caught in his throat when Adam landed on the bed next to him.

Adam immediately turned over and kissed him long and slow, and Katy could see Kris’ face lose all his tension as their mouths worked together.  Adam slid a knee between Kris’ thighs, and Kris’ legs fell open a little, the gesture sending a wave of heat through Katy.  She climbed onto the bed from the other side, hovering close, just watching.  Adam’s expression was soft, long fingers tracing the side of Kris’ face, stroking over and over, and Katy reached out and threaded her hand in Adam’s hair, rubbing the dark strands gently with her thumb. 

Then Adam broke away from Kris’ lips, mouthing his way down Kris’ neck with increasing fervor.  Taking the opening, Katy leaned in and kissed Kris, feeling his familiar mouth against hers. But his responses were not so familiar, affected by Adam’s nips and sucks as he made his way down Kris’ body.

She heard a faint snap, and opened her eyes to see Adam capping a bottle of lube.  Kris didn’t seem to notice, until a moment later when he gasped, giving a little jerk beneath her.  He broke the kiss and looked at Adam, whose hand was between Kris’ legs, face pressing soft kisses against the skin of Kris’ belly.

“Shh,” Adam murmured, barely audible against golden flesh.  His eyes locked with Kris’, gaze steady and reassuring; he began kissing his way up Kris’ torso, while the pace of Kris’ breathing increased.  “It’s okay, I’m barely touching you.”  Soft lips pressed against Kris’ collarbone, and Katy felt hypnotized by Adam’s voice.  Adam raised his head and looked directly into Kris’ wide eyes, hand never ceasing whatever it was doing.  “This only goes as far as you want it to,” Adam said softly.  “You tell me to stop, and I’ll stop.”

“No,” Kris breathed.  “I just… don’t know what to expect, I guess.”

A soft smile curved Adam’s mouth.  “I know,” he said.  “But it’ll feel so good, baby.”  He lowered his head to breathe in Kris’ ear.  “Don’t be afraid to let it feel good.”

Kris exhaled shakily, and Adam began to work his way down again.  Adam looked up and caught Katy’s gaze briefly, but she just smiled at him, content to observe.  He flashed a grin back at her, eyes glowing as his hands and mouth worked Kris patiently, until Kris was moaning softly, shifting against the sheets.  Adam’s eyes slid shut he ran his lips over Kris’ smooth skin, sucking and caressing Kris’ belly and hips, face reverent.

Katy watched as Kris’ breathing escalated, his fingers curling in the sheets or Adam’s hair in response to Adam’s touch.  Yet when she tried to see what he was doing, it never seemed to change: one hand hidden between Kris’ legs, while his mouth and free hand caressed and stroked the exposed places, lips occasionally caressing Kris’ flushed cock.  Kris’ sounds escalated, urgency beginning to mix with the pleasure, until he gave a little gasping cry.  “Please,” tumbled out of his mouth in a broken tone.  “Please, Adam.”

Katy could see Adam’s eyes riveted to Kris’ face, lips parted and skin flushed.  He leaned down and licked a stripe up Kris’ cock while his elbow gave a little twist, and Kris gave a cry and arched up into it.  Adam’s face broke out in a smirk, which he hid in Kris’ groin for a moment before lifting his head to say, “Okay?”

“Yeah…”  Kris breathed out, as if he wasn’t quite sure.  Then, more certainly: “Yes.  Good.”

Adam’s eyes darkened with lust, and Katy felt a full-body shiver go through her.  _Adam__’__s finger is in Kris_.  It was only the first step, she knew, but there was something so intimate about that connection.  Adam dragged his mouth just inside the arch of Kris’ hip, and Kris shivered, staring down at Adam with eyes full of want.  He tensed a bit as Adam worked in the second finger, but Adam spoke to him softly, and in a moment Kris was relaxed and moaning again.

Time stretched out as Adam worked Kris up, patient, so patient, never progressing until Kris was pleading for more.  Katy felt strangely as if Adam was working some magic on her, shivers breaking out over her skin every time Kris moaned, her core throbbing when Kris writhed against Adam’s fingers.  The moments expanded, surreal, a haze of arousal and flesh and sweat until finally, Kris was ready.

She was sucking on his fingers, pulling them deeply into her mouth when she realized that Adam had pulled away.  Kris groaned a protest from his splayed-out position, and she paused in confusion, only to snap to awareness when she saw Adam rolling on a condom.

Then he was on top of Kris, taking Kris’ mouth with his, eyes closed tight and expression somehow fiercely gentle.  When they parted, Adam whispered, “Ready?” and it was only in the underlying gasp, the slight tightening by Adam’s eyes, that Katy could see how much restraint he was using.

“Yes, yes, please, _Adam_,” Kris babbled, and Adam gently folded Kris’ knee up to his chest, bending to kiss him one more time before moving down.

Katy could do nothing but watch as Adam braced himself over Kris, a focused concentration on his face as he looked at Kris and moved.  Kris breathed in sharply, and Adam murmured “Relax, relax, push against me,” and there was a little motion.  Then Adam’s mouth fell open, his eyes closing as a little whimper came from Kris.

Kris’ head was thrown back, eyes glassy and staring unseeing at the ceiling, the line of his neck and shoulders taut.  His hand was tight in Katy’s, and she squeezed it, watching him breathlessly. 

“Kris,” Adam’s voice was choked, and when Katy looked she saw his body being held just as tensely.  “Take a deep breath for me, baby, deep breath.  Let me in.”  And Kris’ chest rose and fell in a huge sigh, then again at Adam’s prompting, his grip on Katy’s hand relaxing and awareness returning to his eyes.

Adam’s head fell forward, a shock of black hair tumbling in his face.  One hand reached out, trembling, to run down Kris’ chest.  Katy caught it in hers, holding them over Kris’ heart, feeling the wild thump beneath their palms.  Kris’ chest rose and fell beneath them, and suddenly Adam was saying, “Oh my god, oh my god, Kris, _Kris,_” while Kris moaned, and they seemed to lock into place, bodies clicking together.

Adam’s head bent until it was resting on Kris’ chest, on their entwined hands, and he gasped as he pressed kiss after kiss to the smooth skin beneath him.  He lifted his head until his mouth hovered over Kris’, their lips just brushing against each other, Adam’s eyes closed as if any more would be too much.  But Kris’ hand reached up and tangled itself in Adam’s hair, and Adam slowly looked up, his features soft with wonder, eyes glowing silver. 

Kris just looked at him, gaze locked on Adam’s, chest heaving with uneven breaths.  “Adam,” he breathed, voice wavering, but then his head fell back against the pillows.  “Adam… please, _move_.”

Adam laughed, soft and joyful, and rolled his hips.

The laughter stuttered and died away, and as Adam pressed back in his face went slack, lips parted and soft.  Dark lashes fell before rising again, and for an instant his face was totally open, full of love and awe and a desperate _need_.

Kris’ head fell back with a broken moan, and Katy couldn’t stop looking at them, her breath coming in pants as she watched the pleasure and amazement roll over Kris’ face.  Then his brow creased and he gasped,  and she leaned in to kiss him.  She could taste that wonder on her tongue, feel him kiss her with passion only to break off abruptly as his body was overwhelmed by new sensation.

He was rocking gently against the bed, driven by Adam’s thrusts; she ran her hand over his belly, moving lower, listening to Kris’ encouraging moans.  She was about to wrap her fingers around his cock, stiff and leaking, when Adam’s hand closed over hers.

She looked up, curious, to where Adam was thrusting in and out with a measured pace.  He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers.  “Not yet,” he whispered, and she nodded, tracing his mouth with her fingertip.  He closed his eyes and gave a soft moan, sucking a finger into his mouth and picking up the pace with his hips. 

Kris was incoherent, nonsensical sounds pouring from his mouth, the only words decipherable being “more” and “please.”  Katy swallowed the sounds with her mouth, feeling his hands grasp at her mindlessly, his body twisting and writhing against hers.

Then her hand was tugged down, and she let Adam wrap her fingers around Kris’ cock, hot under her palm.  Kris cried out and jerked, and she stroked firmly while Adam began driving into him in earnest.

She had the sudden crazy desire to ride Kris, to let Adam’s thrusts carry them both over the edge; but she didn’t know if it would work, or even how to ask - and then Kris was coming, spilling over her hand with a loud cry.  Adam moaned, his eyes open to take in Kris’ face, his hips snapping forward even faster.  A moment later he too was coming, eyes falling shut and face awash with bliss.

Then he collapsed, just barely catching himself on his elbows before he landed on Kris.  He panted hard, head resting on Kris’ chest, while Kris’ hand feebly attempted to stroke his hair before falling limply back to the mattress.  Katy smiled, and did it in his stead, letting the sweaty length of Adam’s hair run through her fingers.  She shivered, body still charged with arousal.

It was several moments before anyone moved, and when Adam finally pushed himself up, Kris gave a little moan of protest.  Adam withdrew carefully, then leaned up to kiss Kris long and slow, slender fingers tracing his face.  When they parted, Adam’s features were soft, eyes glowing as they fixed on Kris’ face, filled with a tenderness that made Katy’s breath catch.  She felt something rise up in her chest, a determination, to protect this thing that was finally showing itself, tentatively coming out of the shell where Adam had kept it for so long.  She wanted to nurture it, and cherish it, and see its beauty unfold.

Kris blinked at Adam slowly, his face a familiar post-coital daze, lips turned up in a lazy smile.  There was a glow in his eyes that Katy had seen before, so often when looking at Adam; and this time, Adam didn’t shy away from it. 

Then Kris yawned, and Adam chuckled, dipping his head to kiss Kris briefly before scooting back off the bed.  Kris made an unhappy sound, but despite the protest, his eyes were sliding shut by the time Adam reached the bathroom door.

Katy smiled and moved restlessly, trying to ignore the itch under her skin.  Instead she focused on Kris’ drowsing face, mouth relaxed and body limp, savoring the memory of his awed pleasure.  Having someone inside you was a connection like none other, and she shifted again as desire washed over her. 

When Adam came back, his eyes were knowing as he looked her over carefully and said, “What about you, Kit-Kat?” as he climbed back into the bed.

She blushed a little and shrugged.  “You two are hot,” she said with a little laugh.  “Got me all worked up again.  Don’t worry, it’ll fade on its own.”

“What?  Do not even say that,” Adam said, looking horrified.  “Nobody is ever leaving my bed without being satisfied.”  He crawled over to her, eyes wide.  “What can I do?”

She laughed again, partly with relief, partly with delight - he’d called it his bed, and it gave her a rush of satisfaction.  She rolled into his arms and threw a leg over his hips.  “Just hold me,” she said, because she was too aroused to want anything other than to get off.  His long arms closed around her, and she shifted against him until she found the right pressure against his pelvis, and began to rock.

She hadn’t done this since high school, but it still felt good, and it wouldn’t take much anyway.  Adam caught on quickly, one hand lowering to the small of her back, guiding her hips to meet the counterpoint he provided as he moved his own.  The other slid between her legs, teasing at her folds.  He kissed her, deep and dirty, and she rocked against him frantically until the orgasm rolled over her, leaving her gasping.

She leaned into Adam’s shoulder as she caught her breath, taking in the scent of sweat and sex.  “Thanks,” she said when she could speak.  “You’re not too shabby at that, Lambert.” 

He beamed at her, seemingly inordinately pleased by her compliment, and she couldn’t help but smile back.

“How’s Sleeping Beauty?” he asked after a moment.

“I think you wore him out,” she said with a chuckle, peering over Adam’s chest at Kris.  “Though I really can’t blame him.”

A muffled sound came from Kris.  “…can hear you.”

Adam rolled to his side and nuzzled along Kris’ face.  “Hey, baby.  How do you feel?”

Another low groan, and honey-colored eyes cracked open.  “Awesome.  I don’t think I’ll ever move again, but awesome.”

Adam chuckled, while Katy moved to Kris’ other side.  “Oh, I’m sure you’ll move again.  Too bad we don’t have a hot tub to help this time, though.”

Kris smiled as Katy snuggled in.  “I guess you two will have to do.”

***

When Adam awoke the next morning, his face was pressed against the side of Kris’ head, short hairs tickling his nose, scent filling his senses.  He didn’t even need to consciously remember the night before in order to feel a smile break over his face, contentment filling him up to overflowing.

He breathed in deeply, inhaling _Kris_, and pressed his face a little closer.  Kris mumbled a little, still asleep, and Adam couldn’t resist pressing a soft kiss to Kris’ neck.

The swelling he felt in his chest was both exhilarating and frightening, and he lifted a hand to rest on Kris’ arm, feeling the smooth skin and relaxed bicep beneath his fingers.  He resisted the impulse to pull Kris to him, knowing that he’d never want to stop, not until Kris had fused with his body, inextricable.

He blew out a long breath that ruffled the hair against Kris’ neck, and Kris shifted more deliberately.  There was a low groan that indicated consciousness was returning, and Adam pushed himself up on an elbow, stretching.

His eyes fell on the golden hair just beyond Kris, the sweet curve of Katy’s cheek, and he smiled.  His feelings towards Katy puzzled him.  Her presence warmed him in a way he’d never expected - though he wasn’t quite sure how to define how he felt, he knew that in some ways he couldn’t imagine being with Kris without her.  He knew he didn’t love her the way he loved Kris, but his heart welcomed her. 

Then movement caught his gaze, and Kris’ eyes blinked open.  When he saw Adam, his face broke into a wide smile that almost immediately transformed into a yawn.  Adam returned the smile, telling himself it wasn’t ridiculous if they were _both_ grinning like idiots.

“Morning,” Kris said, voice rough.

“Good morning,” Adam returned, taking in his face.  “How do you feel?”

Kris wrinkled his nose.  “Quit asking me that,” he said, then started to stretch, and froze.  “…Oh.”  He blinked up at Adam, eyes large and round.  “Um.  I’m actually kinda sore.”

Adam hurriedly bit his lip, but then cracked up, quietly, and Kris grabbed his arm and tried to shove him over.  The effect was lost by the laughter shaking Kris’ chest, and Adam rolled onto him, easily pinning him through the giggles.

A muffled groan came from Katy’s side of the bed.  “Oh my word, are you guys at it again?”  Her face was half covered by the sheet, but her eyes were smiling.  “That’s what I get for being with two men, I guess.”

*

Katy had an audition scheduled that afternoon, and when she left, Adam took the opportunity to have a private conversation with Kris.

They were sprawled across the sofa, Kris half on top of Adam, sleepy and comfortable after a large brunch.  Adam ran a hand lazily down Kris’ back, feeling the other man hum in contentment.

“Hey, I want to talk about last night,” Adam murmured, not wanting to break the moment.

Kris raised his head, eyebrow cocked.  “You want to talk about it?  Isn’t that more a girl thing?”

Adam smirked at him.  “Nice try, but I’m not letting you off the hook.  I don’t need to know your deepest feelings.  But this is new to you, and I need to know what you liked, what you didn’t like, if you’re comfortable with things.”

Kris lowered his face and groaned, and Adam could see the color creeping up his neck. “Really, Adam?”

He ran a hand down Kris’ head to his back.  “Really, Kris.  This is important.”

Kris shoved his face into the space between Adam’s shoulder and arm, as if he could hide there.  “Fine,” he grumbled.  “What do you want to know?”

“Most important first,” Adam decided.  “Does anything hurt this morning?  Not sore, but pain.  And don’t be all macho and lie to me.”  He shook Kris a little, playfully, and Kris chuckled. 

“No,” he said.  “Definitely not.  Just sore.”

“Good.”  Adam kind of wanted to kiss the top of Kris’ head, but refrained.  “I know that was really different for you.  You’re entitled to freak out a bit.”

Kris turned his head, likely to breathe a bit better than he could in Adam’s shirt.  “A little, maybe,” he said, giving a small shrug.  “Okay, yes.  But just because it’s an adjustment.”  His face was flushed red now, and he stared out at the empty living room.  “I didn’t expect to like it so much.”  The last part was muttered quietly.

Adam couldn’t help the smile that broke out when he heard that.  “I get it,” he said, trying to keep the smile out of his voice.  “It was weird for me at first too, and I knew I was gay.”  He gave in to the impulse to kiss Kris’ hair.  “You aren’t.  I know this.”  The little rush of fear was familiar, but he tried hard to ignore it.  “That’s why talking is especially important for us.  It’s okay if you don’t like everything.  I know it can be really different.”

“Yeah,” Kris agreed, squirming a little.  “But I liked what we did last night.  It hurt some, but that’ll go away, right?”

“It will,” Adam affirmed.  “Just like it did with Katy, right?”

Kris nodded.  “I just wasn’t sure if it would be the same.”

“I don’t know about exactly,” Adam admitted.  “But close enough.”

Kris hummed in acknowledgement, and Adam continued.  “Is there anything you know of that you don’t want?”

Kris’ face scrunched up in thought.  “I don’t know,” he said.  “Are you suggesting I knock something before I try it?”

Adam laughed.  “Not as a rule.  I encourage experimentation.  But I don’t want to do something that will make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s all a little weird,” Kris said.  “But… good weird?  It’s… it’s different, but hot.”  He looked up at Adam again, face flushed but gaze steady.  “I don’t think I’d like it with anybody but you, though.”

Adam smiled at him.  “I admit, I kind of like that.  It should probably scare me, but it doesn’t.”

“Good,” Kris replied, lips twitching up.  “It shouldn’t.”  He studied Adam for a moment.  “Can I ask you something?” The color was rising in his cheeks again.

Adam stroked a finger down the heated skin.  “Of course.  Anything.”

“Do you ever like to, you know… be on the bottom?”  He glanced away.

Adam resisted the urge to smile.  “Sometimes.”  He kept his finger moving against Kris’ face, feeling the soft give of his lower lip.  “Would you like to do that?”

“Would you mind?”  Kris’ skin was hot now.

“Not at all.”  Adam smiled then.  “Most people are predisposed to one role or the other, but that doesn’t mean they never do anything else.  Switching it around is fine with me, and you’re still figuring out what you like.  You should definitely try it.”

Kris swallowed hard and nodded.  He shifted against Adam, and Adam’s eyebrows rose when he felt a hardness against his thigh that hadn’t been there before.

“Oh,” he said, voice lowering as his hand dropped to Kris’ ass.  “You should _definitely_ try it.”

Kris let out a quiet groan, his hips rocking a bit against Adam.  Adam rolled his hips up to meet Kris’ movements, enjoying the friction.  But before they could get too into the sensations, Adam put his hands on Kris’ hips and stilled them.

“Will Katy mind if we do this?” Adam asked, trying to keep his voice light.  “She’s never really said, and I just don’t want…” he trailed off, uncertain.

“I think she expects it,” Kris replied, but his brows pursed together a little.  “But… yeah, I’m kind of assuming that.”  He looked at Adam with a little frown.  “I guess we should talk about that, huh?”

“Yeah, we should.  I don’t want her to feel left out or anything.”  He was vaguely surprised to realize he meant it; that he wasn’t just being polite. 

“Can we text her?” Kris asked, eyes wide and guileless as he rolled his hips against Adam again.

Adam felt his mouth fall open a little, and Kris’ expression cracked.  Adam laughed and brought a hand down on Kris’ ass.  “You’re evil.”

Kris smirked.

*

The conversation with Katy didn’t go quite the way Adam expected it to.

“No, you don’t have to wait for me,” she said, surprise painting her petite features.  “It’s just not practical.  I…”  She blushed and faltered for a moment.  “I would _like_ for us to always be together, but we know if we did that we’d get frustrated pretty quickly.”  Her eyes found Adam’s.  “How do you feel about it?”

Adam was uncomfortably aware that he was not thrilled at the idea of Katy having Kris without him.  And despite her pragmatism, she probably felt the same way about him.  But, she was also right - they had to compromise, and they couldn’t afford to foster jealousy of one another.  “I agree,” he said, and eyed Kris.  “Though I’m a little jealous of Kris; no matter what, _he__’__s_ getting some.”

He’d meant it as a joke, to dispel the tension that had settled, but Katy’s face went carefully blank.  Immediately, Adam realized what he’d implied, and felt like an ass.  Worse, he didn’t know what to say to make it better.

Kris’ eyes were darting between them, lower lip between his teeth, so obviously Adam wasn’t getting any help from that quarter.  He decided he’d better man up and deal with the damn elephant in the room.

“Kit-Kat, come here.”  He reached out his arms to her and beckoned.  Her uncertainty was clear on her face, but Katy got up and let Adam pull her into his lap.  Even there, she was tiny. 

“Katy,” he said, and her eyes rose to meet his.  “I adore you.  And I think you’re absolutely beautiful.  But honey…”  He sighed and squeezed her a little, keeping his voice gentle.  “I’m gay.  It’s not personal.”

“I know.”  Her voice was quiet, but then she huffed a breath and rolled her eyes at herself, chasing away the sheen of moisture.  “I’m being ridiculous, I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not,” Adam contradicted immediately, clasping her to his chest.  “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

She rested her head in the crook of his neck, in the spot he thought of as Kris’.  He found that she fit there just as naturally.  After a moment she asked, “You’re not even a _little_ bicurious?” but her tone was underlaid with teasing.

Adam smiled.  “I’ve gone farther with you than I have with any other woman,” he said, knowing that even if it wasn’t physically true, it was certainly true emotionally.  “You’re definitely bearing the brunt of my bicuriosity.”

Katy’s mouth pulled into a small smile, and he kissed her forehead.  Looking down at her, he felt a pang of regret that he didn’t want her the way he did Kris, that they didn’t share the same connection, couldn’t complete the circle.  It was even worse that he didn’t feel he could meet her halfway.

Maybe one day, he allowed; she was beautiful and sexy and he’d meant what he said.  But he didn’t want to lead her on, either; for her to get emotionally invested on a level he didn’t know he’d ever reach. 

His eyes rose over the top of Katy’s head, and saw Kris watching them, gaze tracing intently over where Adam’s hand rested on Katy’s shoulder, his lips on her crown.  Then the golden eyes met his and flashed with mischief instead of heat.  “Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, man,” Kris murmured, and smiled when he and Katy laughed.

***

Leila put down her fork and leaned in to the table, a knowing grin on her lips. “Okay, I’ve been in suspense long enough.  Who is he?”

Adam raised his brows and gave her his best innocent look.  “Who?”

She looked at him reproachfully.  “Don’t think I don’t know that expression on your face.  You only look this happy when you’ve got someone.”

It was one of the rare times Adam wished his mother couldn’t read him so well.  “Hmm, maybe I just got some last night,” he said, quirking an eyebrow and trying not to feel guilty. 

“Oh, don’t play coy with me.”  She sat back a little, regarding him carefully.  “You really won’t tell me?”  Her tone and eyes were free of accusation, but Adam felt it anyway.  He _never_ lied to his mom.

He sighed heavily and gave in.  “I can’t tell you,” he said, leaning forward to play with the stem of his water glass.  The sunlight caught on his rings and bounced against the curve of the goblet, creating tiny rainbows.  He looked up and saw the smile fading from her face.  “He’s not ready to tell his parents yet.  It’s just to be fair.”  Lie of omission.

Now his mother’s face reflected concern.  “Is he not out yet?”

Adam fell back in his chair, hand dropping from the glass.  “No.”

“Honey…”  She leaned forward again, reaching out to rest her fingers on his.  “Is this a good idea?  Surely you both know that it would be almost impossible to stay in the closet and be with you.  And I don’t think you’ll be happy without being able to be open about it.”

He met her eyes and smiled, though it was a bit of an effort.  “I know.  It won’t stay this way forever.”  It couldn’t, he wouldn’t do that.  “But it’s complicated.  There’s a lot more to it than him coming out.”

Now he’d said too much, and his mother was looking shrewd.  “Adam, it’s not-”

“It’s not what you think,” he cut her off, before she could suggest Kris.  “I wish I could tell you.  I really do.  I promise I will as soon as I can.”  It was a promise he had every intention of keeping - there was no way he’d keep this from his family indefinitely.

She looked at him for a moment, with that piercing gaze that always seemed to see into his soul.  “Okay,” she said finally.  “If you’re happy.”

The smile was no effort that time.  “I am.  Very happy.”


	3. Chapter 3

The movie had ended, credits long since over, and Katy was asleep against Kris’ shoulder.  Adam could see the top of her golden head from where he had his face buried in Kris’ hair, breathing in the familiar scent.

He could probably go to sleep here, he thought hazily, with nothing but Kris for warmth.  The smaller body fit perfectly against his, Kris’ shoulders under his arm at just the right height, and Katy’s petite form the complement to his.  He was pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to work like this, but that didn’t stop it from feeling right.  After Brad, he’d felt sure that he would never belong in forever; that such an ideal was an illusion.  But if anyone could last forever, he thought it would be Kris and Katy.  And in the moments when the doubts were silent, he felt like he could really be a part of their unit.  He closed his eyes and breathed in, reveling in the feeling. 

But the hour was late, and finally Adam knew he couldn’t put off leaving any longer.  He took in one more breath of Kris, brushing his fingers against Katy’s hair, and pulled away.

Kris let out an unhappy sound and shifted on the sofa, watching drowsily as Adam stood and picked up his jacket.  “Hey, are you free Tuesday night?”

Adam glanced at him, and saw Katy stretch and blink, waking.  He thought a moment.  “Yeah, I am.  Why?”

“You should come over, of course.”  A smile both sexy and shy curved Kris’ lips.  “Keep Wednesday morning open too, if you can.”

Adam felt a rush of heat go through him at the suggestion, Kris’ sleep-heavy eyes prompting a groan that was quickly stifled.  He hoped he wouldn’t have to wait for Tuesday before he could have Kris again, but- “Wait, that’s your and Katy’s date night.”

Kris rolled his eyes as if Adam were being dense.  “Yeah.  And now it’s our date night with you.”  That smile again.  “If that works for you.”

Adam blinked, taken completely by surprise.  Ever since Kris and Katy had lived in L.A., he’d known that Tuesday was their night together - a tradition he’d regarded with some envy.  “But… really?” he said, unable to help the smile that he could feel pulling at his mouth.  “Are you sure?”

Katy pushed herself up off Kris’ shoulder with a fond look.  “Of course, silly.  You’re part of us now, we aren’t going to cut you out of something.”  She sounded a bit scandalized at the idea.

Adam shrugged, trying to play it cool, but the smile wasn’t going anywhere.  “I didn’t want to presume.”

Kris wrinkled his nose.  “You have the right to presume that you’re welcome with us.  I thought that was obvious.”  He got up from the sofa and leaned up to press a soft kiss to Adam’s mouth.  Adam leaned into it, deepening the connection for a moment before drawing reluctantly away.  “Be here no later than six on Tuesday.  We’re going out.”

“I’ll be here.”  Adam leaned down to kiss Katy, then walked out to his car.  He turned to look back at the house, and let his joy out in a laugh that echoed through the little yard. 

Dating had been something he’d never really considered with Kris and Katy - that stage had seemed superfluous, unnecessary; not to mention difficult to execute under their circumstances.  But that didn’t mean he hadn’t wanted it - and until now, it felt as if he’d underestimated how much he _did_ want it.

He tilted his head back and let the cool night air flow over his face, feeling butterflies of anticipation and nerves take up residence in his belly.  How long had it been since he’d felt like this?  And the fact that they’d included him on their standing date night - something he knew was a commitment they took seriously - warmed him to the core.

Where would they go?  What would they do?  It had been awhile since Adam had been on a real date, and impossibly longer since he wasn’t the one planning it.  What should he wear?  What did one do on a date with Kris Allen?  What if he wanted to go to some sports thing?  Adam’s eyes widened in horror for a moment, but then he laughed.  He didn’t care if Kris wanted to drag him to some game that he knew nothing about; he’d go, and he’d love it, because it was Kris and Katy.

*

Katy’s phone buzzed, and she looked at the screen to see a text from Adam:

_Do you know what we're doing on Tuesday?_

She smiled and put her book down, typing out a quick response.  _Even if I did, I wouldn__’__t tell ;)_

The reply was swift: _ :( What sort of a girlfriend are you?  I need to know what to wear!_

She sat back on the sofa, enjoying this.  _Kris would say you'll look beautiful no matter what._

_Don't tell me that's a good enough answer for you._

She laughed.  _Of course not._

_Katyyy_ _…_

She took pity on him.  _I really don't know, hun._

_What are you wearing?  Don't want to clash._

_This cute dress I found at Wasteland__…_She settled in to tell him about it.

*

Kris had managed to find an out-of-the-way Asian fusion restaurant, unremarkable from the outside and refreshingly uncrowded.  As the hostess led them to their table, Adam admired the Zen decor and low lighting, allowing each party relative privacy.  Then the hostess stopped, and Adam took in the booth she was gesturing to.  He exchanged quick looks with Kris and Katy, seeing the same question reflected in their eyes: _who to sit with_? 

Aware that the hostess was watching them, and not wanting Kris to ask for them to be reseated, Adam slid into the far side and watched as Katy and Kris took the other. 

It stung a little, but as soon as they were alone Kris made apologetic faces until he laughed.  The arrangement made the most sense, Adam admitted, and would look the least strange.  The table between them had the added benefit of keeping Adam from giving in to the temptation to touch Kris.  Though he hadn’t spied any camera phones in use yet, there was no point in taking chances, and peoples’ eyes and mouths worked even when their cameras didn’t.

The public setting left Adam feeling oddly exposed, despite the fact that they weren’t doing anything different than before they were together.  Kris and Katy could feel it too, he could tell, their words and gestures a bit self-conscious and furtive, guarding against anything that could be incriminating if overheard. 

He wondered if this was what it would have felt like had he dated while he was in the closet.  No, he thought with a smirk, it would’ve been a thousand times worse.  And he’d learned from his time with Drake and Marc that, closeted or not, fame brought with it no small amount of self-consciousness.  At least this time, Kris and Katy were equally invested; had just as much - likely more - to lose.

A round of drinks helped burn off the initial awkwardness, and by the time their food came, Adam felt nearly normal.  They ordered several dishes to share family style; it was almost like sharing off each others’ plates, he told himself, and the food was delicious.  When the check came, Kris picked it up so smoothly there was no time to argue over it, and Adam let himself enjoy the feeling of simply being taken out. 

Afterward, Kris drove them to a small bar and restaurant, concealed from Washington Boulevard by a high cinderblock wall.  Adam eyed it a little suspiciously, the exterior reminding him more than a little of a strip club, though it would serve as a barrier against prying eyes.  He wondered briefly where Kris got his recommendations.  But once they were inside, the decor turned modern and upscale.  They were led to a private corner of the patio, where a curved sofa sat up against a small fire pit, just big enough for the three of them.  Kris sat, and Adam hesitated, glancing at Katy.  He was feeling relaxed and comfortable from dinner, and would like nothing more than to settle between them, feeling them both pressed against him.

But as before, that would appear strange at best, and so Adam sat on Kris’ right, watching as Katy took the opposite side.

Kris ordered a bottle of merlot and a slice of German chocolate cake, over the protests of Adam and Katy.  But with the wine and fire warming him, Adam shoved away the nagging sense of responsibility, content that they had no obvious audience, and accepted bites of rich chocolate from Kris’ fork.

He was feeling comfortably buzzed, Kris and Katy a bit further along, and it was good to indulge in the closeness forced by the small couch.  Katy was there, after all, her presence making Adam feel safer about the way his arm rested heavily on Kris’ shoulders, his fingers tangling occasionally in her hair.  Kris was growing less inhibited, leaning in to whisper things in Adam’s ear, his hand brushing against Adam’s leg or Katy’s cheek.  Katy was giggly and happy, face flushed as she kissed Kris’ cheek, eyes smiling at Adam, full of the secret they held between them. 

Adam was about to say something to move them on to the next part of the night, which he dearly hoped would involve the three of them and their bed, when a glint near the top of the wall caught his eye.  Glancing up, he saw light flare on a lens, and froze. 

Suddenly all too aware of how close his lips were to Kris’ temple, he pulled back a little, but pressed his hand against their arms to gain their attention.  “Don’t look, but we’re being watched.” 

Their posture stiffened, and Adam thought rapidly about where they were and if it was worth it to try to escape.  “Give me the valet check,” he murmured to Kris.  “I’ll get the car, and we’ll see if we can at least avoid being seen leaving together.”

Kris slipped him the claim stub, and Adam got up, deliberately nonchalant, and headed in the direction of the restroom before veering towards the valet stand.  Within moments, Adam was behind the wheel of the Fusion, keeping an eye out for the paparazzo.  He saw Kris and Katy first, and he put the car into gear as soon as they slid in.

They were quiet and tense for the first few minutes, before Kris said, “Do you think we did anything really obvious?”

“No,” Katy replied immediately, but she had her lip caught between her teeth.  “I mean, there’s no way there’s anything that’s different from what you guys have done before, right?  We weren’t exactly making out.”

Kris grimaced.  “I don’t think I’ve ever fed Adam cake before.”

“You fed me, too.”

“Somehow I doubt _those_ will be the pictures on TMZ.”

“Well, maybe he wasn’t there when we did that.”

Adam just listened.  They were walking a fine line here; Katy was right, to an extent, that they could get away with a lot because that was what Kradam was _about_; they’d played it as a joke for months before it ever became anything real.  But it was no longer a joke, and he wasn’t sure if he could retain perspective on it anymore. 

It had been one thing to laugh and deny when there had been no relationship; now, he wouldn’t want to deny it anymore.  Beyond that, he wasn’t sure if Kris even _could_, or if the game would be up the instant someone glimpsed his guilty face. 

*

As it turned out, there were no photos of Kris feeding Adam.  Their respective Twitter feeds exploded with fangirl squealing over the pictures of them with their heads bent together, Kris tucked under Adam’s arm, but it was nothing they hadn’t dealt with before and it didn’t require comment.  Kris couldn’t resist tweaking his fans, making a comment about how Katy needed her Kradam fix, and while it made Adam nervous he had to admit it was the most normal response Kris could have had. 

But he couldn’t help but think of next time, of all the things they couldn’t be seen doing, and what would happen when they inevitably were.

***

Adam was in the middle of rehearsing _Fever_ when Kris walked in.

It had been a long day, the dancers had been dismissed, and Adam’s energy was fading fast.  But when the door opened and light threw Kris’ form into silhouette, Adam felt enthusiasm flood him again.  With someone watching - and not just anyone, but _Kris_ \- it gave him a new focus, and he allowed the infectious beat of the song to take him over as he beckoned Kris closer.

Kris grinned and played along, swaying his hips as he approached the stage.  He did some funky little dance moves, moving with the groove as Adam put on a sultry face and flirted with body and voice. 

It wasn’t long before Kris’ grin began to fade, his eyes locking on Adam and tracking the motion of his hips.  Adam put more into it, working the stage as if he were in full costume, less playful and more seductive.  He kept his attention on his audience of one, and felt gratified when he saw Kris swallow.  He couldn’t see the finer details of Kris’ expression from the stage, but he didn’t need to in order to know that they were both turned on. 

The song ended, and Adam had to let the moment go, turning back to his band.  “How do we feel, guys?  Ready to call it a night?”

“It looks like _you_ are,” Tommy called, and Adam quirked his lips, raising his middle finger in response.

Monte’s face was a mix between indulgent and resigned as he said, “Yeah man, I think we’re good for today.”  His eyes fell speculatively on Kris, and Adam had a paranoid second of wondering if his old friend had guessed.  But Monte just turned towards his amp, and Adam relaxed.  Nothing had changed; they all still thought he was hung up on the unattainable straight boy. 

He put his mic away and hopped off the stage.  Walking up to Kris, he threw a casual arm around his shoulders.  “Katy get to the airport okay?” he asked as they started to walk out.

Kris’ eyes burned possessively as they looked up at Adam’s face, and Adam felt a wave of heat travel through him.  “Yeah.  I told her I’d seen The Hangover, so I know what kind of trouble she’ll get into.”

Adam smirked.  “What did she say?”

Kris’ voice dropped low.  “That it was nothing compared to what we get up to together.”  He grinned.  “I think part of her wishes she could scandalize her girlfriends with stories.”

“Ooh, only if I get to be there,” Adam said, waggling his eyebrows, and Kris laughed.

They parted ways at their cars, and headed for the hills and Kris’ house.  Kris beat him there, and opened the front door with an unusually purposeful glint in his eye.

“You know,” he said lowly, “it’s a good thing I’m not the jealous type, or I might have a hard time with you going on tour.”  His eyes swept up Adam’s body possessively.

“Oh yeah?” Adam breathed, stepping inside and closing the door, watching as Kris’ hand rose to settle on his torso.  “And what would you do about it?”

Kris’ eyes shot up to meet his, and Adam looked back with just enough challenge to provoke a response.  Kris’ fingers tightened in Adam’s shirt, and then their mouths were crushed together, Kris’ lips on his with little thought for finesse.

Adam threw himself into it, relishing the rawness, meeting Kris kiss for kiss but allowing him to take the lead.  Strong hands tugged at his shirt, pushing it up Adam’s chest while Kris’ mouth dipped to suck hard on the skin there.  Adam gasped, his hand coming up to grip Kris’ hair, but he resisted the urge to guide him.  Instead, his other hand scrabbled at the buttons on Kris’ shirt, tugging them loose.

Soon their clothes were scattered across the floor, mouths sucking and biting at each others’ skin.  Adam was enjoying this rare, assertive Kris, and followed without hesitation when Kris shoved him towards the bedroom.

Beside the bed, they kissed some more; but then Kris began to back off a little, his kisses carrying less authority, as if he were not quite catching on to Adam’s lack of aggression.  Adam resisted the temptation to take the lead, instead just allowing himself to be guided by the slightest of signals from Kris, feeling that if he didn’t they would get caught in an impasse.  A soft pressure at the flesh of his waist had him sitting on the bed, looking up through lowered lashes, face deliberately submissive.  He wanted to play this as far as Kris would take it.

Kris’ gaze swept his body, and Adam smiled at the awareness that flared in the brown eyes as he took in Adam’s naked form.  Kris paused for a second, examining Adam’s face; then, taking a deep breath and firming his expression, he raised a hand to tangle strong fingers in Adam’s hair.  Adam let his mouth fall open a little, an offering. When the kiss came, Adam matched the hunger, nipping and pulling fiercely at Kris’ lips and letting his hands roam over the taut skin of Kris’ belly and down over his bare hips.Then he fell back onto the bed, letting his body sprawl, legs open in invitation.  Kris looked him over, eyes narrow and determined, and Adam rolled his hips encouragingly.

Taking the opening, Kris climbed on the bed, reaching down to grasp Adam’s cock.  Adam groaned, perhaps a bit more enthusiastically than the touch warranted, but had the reward of Kris moving his hand firmly in response.  Adam licked his own palm and then gripped Kris, feeling the velvety slide of hot flesh against his skin.  Then he wrapped a leg around Kris’ hips and tugged, bringing their cocks flush against each other, clearly open for more. 

Kris thrust against him for a moment, then his gaze ran from Adam’s chest to belly to cock, and he bit his lip.  Adam reached out and took his hand, guiding it down to his opening, while Kris watched him with wide eyes.  “Just go slow,” Adam murmured, and arched his hips.

Kris’ fingers just brushed against Adam before his hand faltered and fell away.  A feeling was growing in Adam’s gut when Kris raised his head.  “I… I don’t…”  He met Adam’s eyes, helplessly.

In an instant, Adam had them flipped over, Kris flat on his back and Adam pinning him with the length of his body.  Kris gasped, and Adam gave one long, slow grind with his hips.  Kris’ eyes rolled shut and he groaned, legs falling open.

Heat surged over Adam as he leaned down, feeling Kris’ breath hot against his face.  “Then don’t,” he whispered, and ravished Kris’ mouth.

Kris’ hands went to his hair and grabbed, hanging on, as Adam ground their cocks together.  Adam broke the kiss and began to suck at Kris’ neck, feeling a rush of arousal when Kris’s head fell back to bare his throat.

“I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk,” Adam growled, and Kris whimpered, a leg coming to wrap itself around Adam’s hips. 

“Please… please.”

Fumbling the nightstand drawer open, Adam found the lube and condoms, making a mess as he hurriedly slicked his fingers.  “You are mine,” he hissed, and slid two fingers in without so much as a pause.

Kris’ eyes flew open and he sucked in a breath, and Adam worried for a split second that he’d gone too fast.  But then Kris released the air on a broken whine, “_Adaaam_,” drawn out as his chest shuddered, and Adam was on him again.

Suddenly hard enough to pound nails, Adam bent and sucked Kris’ cock in his mouth, swallowing him down.  Kris’ back arched and he scrabbled at the sheets, and Adam slid his fingers in and out, Kris unbelievably tight around him.  As quickly as he could, he worked a third finger in, trying to restrain himself from just _taking_ while Kris’ moans and cries reached his ears.

“Adam, _please_,” Kris said, teeth catching his lip as though he didn’t know what else to say, couldn’t voice words dirty enough for what he wanted Adam to do to him.  With a wolfish smile, Adam withdrew his fingers and got his face up in front of Kris’.

“Please what,” he murmured, dropping his head to bite at Kris’ lower lip.  Kris whined, squirming under him, eyes wide and pleading.  Adam lowered his mouth to Kris’ ear.  “Do you want me to fuck you?”

Kris moaned, helplessly, and then Adam heard him say, “Yes… Adam, please, I want you to fuck me.”

Adam shuddered all over at the words.  “You are so fucking amazing.”  And then he wasted no more time.  Lifting Kris’ knees and lining up, he pushed himself just inside.

Kris was still tight, so tight, and Adam pulled together all of his self control to keep from going too fast.  Kris made incredible sounds, though, and rolled his hips up to meet Adam, and Adam growled and pushed until finally, he slid home.

Kris’ chest was rising and falling with short, sharp pants, fingers clenched in Adam’s hair, tight enough to hurt.  Adam pulled back before thrusting in with one long stroke, and Kris’ eyes rolled back, face clenching up in ecstasy.

“Oh _fuck_ yes,” Adam murmured, and lowered his head and drove in again. 

He wasn’t about to hold back, not with Kris making those delicious sounds, head thrown back and wide open for Adam to possess.  He dropped a hand to grip Kris’ hip, hard, keeping him in place while Adam fucked him in short, staccato thrusts; waiting for - _there_ \- the sudden arch and cry that told him he’d found the sweet spot.  Adam felt a predatory smile come across his face as he kept at that spot, watching Kris’ eyes go wide and wild, body writhing as a babble of _please_ poured from his mouth.

When Kris’ hand reached for his cock, purple and weeping against his stomach, Adam grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the bed.  “You come when _I_ say,” he murmured, thrilling when Kris shivered in response.

Minutes later, Kris was whimpering, head tossing against the bed while he thrust hard against Adam.  But his hand stayed obediently on the bed where Adam had pressed it, fingers clenching in the sheets.  “Adam, please, _touch me_,” Kris said, and his voice caught.

Adam wrapped his hand around Kris’ cock and stripped him once, twice, and then Kris was screaming, bucking into Adam’s hand as come painted his chest, legs clamping involuntarily around Adam’s waist. 

Adam fucked him through it, until Kris was sprawled limp against the sheets, face slack with bliss.  “So beautiful,” Adam gasped, taking a moment to lick at a streak of pearly white; then he let himself go, pounding into Kris until his own release hit him, making him close his eyes and shudder, Kris’ skin hot against his hands.

Afterward, Adam collapsed on his side, panting, and a moment later Kris turned into him, snuggling his face into Adam’s chest.  Adam ran his hands through Kris’ hair, stroking clumsily at his back while he waited for his heart to calm. “God, Kris, you’re incredible,” he breathed.

They lay together for awhile, Adam lazily stroking Kris’ skin, before he realized that Kris was being just a bit too still.  Dropping a kiss on Kris’ head, Adam said, “You still with me, baby?”

When Kris shrugged a little in response, though, Adam felt a sudden jolt of fear.  “What is it?” he asked, keeping his voice deliberately calm.  “Did I hurt you?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Kris said quickly, peering up from Adam’s chest for a moment before hiding his face again.  Adam frowned, not reassured.

“Did you not like it?”

“No, I did,” Kris returned; then, almost inaudible: “That’s the problem.”

Eyebrows raised, Adam said, “Oh, honey, that’s never a problem.”

Kris shifted restlessly, starting to pull away, and Adam regretted being flippant.  “Hey,” he said softly.  “Talk to me.”

Kris hid his face again, and Adam waited, keeping his fingers running rhythmically through Kris’ hair.

After a long moment, Kris squirmed a little and said, “I didn’t…” before huffing out a breath.  “I didn’t follow through on what I started.”

Adam mulled that over for a moment before realizing what Kris was saying.  “Did you want to?” he asked, pretty sure he knew the answer, but wanting to hear Kris say it.

“No,” Kris said, pulling his face away a little, but keeping his gaze firmly on Adam’s chest.  “But… why not?”  There was a plaintive note in his voice.

Adam let his hand drift down Kris’ arm before returning to stroke his face, keeping the contact reassuring.  “Because you didn’t,” he suggested.  “It’s okay.  Some people just don’t like it.”

“But… Katy,” Kris protested, his hand tightening a little on Adam’s waist. 

Adam bit his lip, thinking, understanding Kris’ conflict.  “I don’t think it has to change anything with her,” he said slowly.  “You guys have a different dynamic, a different relationship.”  He bowed his head, trying to catch Kris’ eyes.  “There’s no rules, Kris.  You don’t have to label this, or have it be all or nothing.  You’re the one who decides what you like, nobody else.”

Kris’ gaze rose to tentatively meet his, and Adam smiled warmly.  “You’re a beautiful and giving lover, and if you never want to top, I have no problem with that.  If you ever do, the offer stands.  There’s no pressure.”  He pressed a soft kiss to Kris’ forehead.  “And it’s clear to me that Katy’s very satisfied with you.”  Then he pulled back and smiled again.  “Nothing about you has changed, Kris.  You’re just learning more about yourself.”

Kris met his eyes, and Adam could see the anxiety slowly begin to fade, overtaken by a small smile that curved his mouth.  “Like how much I love you?"

Adam felt a rush of warmth at the uncharacteristic admission, and drew Kris close, pressing his lips to the soft hair.  “Yeah,” he whispered, throat a little tight.  “Like that.”

***

Adam was drowsing comfortably against Kris’ shoulder, Katy pressed up against his back.  He wondered absently if they’d ever develop a habitual sleeping arrangement, but he kind of liked this, instinctive and flexible.

Kris’ phone rang, and the three of them groaned in concert.  Kris sat up a little and reached for his phone, while Adam pressed his face into Kris’ side.

“‘Lo?  …Oh, hi Mom.”

Adam opened his eyes, but didn’t move, listening.

“No, it’s okay, it’s easy to forget the time difference.  We were just sleeping in.”

Katy shifted behind him, resting her chin on Adam’s shoulder.  “Hi, Mom.”

Kris relayed her words, and Adam bit his lip, wanting to add his own greeting to the warm Southern woman.  Instead he remained still and silent, knowing there was no plausible explanation for him being there so early in the morning.  Knowing that, as much as Kim Allen loved and accepted him, it would all change if she knew about his relationship with her son and daughter-in-law.

He tried not to feel guilty about that.

“…Love you too.  Here’s Katy.” 

Kris turned and handed the phone to Katy, who put it to her ear and rolled out of bed.  “Hi, Mom.”

She disappeared down the hall, and Kris settled back in the bed, facing Adam.  His eyes scanned Adam’s face.  “Sorry about that,” he began, but Adam shook his head.

“It’s okay.  I understand.”  He smiled, and waited for the crease between Kris’ brows to disappear.  Kris’ features eased into a smile, and Adam’s heart gave a little twist that he told himself was happiness.

***

“Hey, listen.  I was thinking I’d stay home this Tuesday.”

“What?  Why?”

Adam worried a hangnail with his thumb, holding the phone in place with his shoulder.  “You and Katy haven’t had any time to yourselves in awhile.  You should do that.  And I have some stuff at home I need to do,” he added, lamely.

“Adam, you’re only over a couple of times a week,” Kris protested.

“And you’re out late for most of the rest,” Adam replied quickly.  “Come on.  When’s the last time you went on a date, just you two?”

Kris grumbled under his breath.  “Does that mean I get to take just you out on a date next?”

Adam ignored him.  “Go on, take her out somewhere nice.  Be seen.  As a couple.  If you don’t look out, people are going to think you’re sleeping with that fag you hang out with.”  It came out less teasing than he intended.

“Don’t say that,” Kris said sharply.  “Adam-”

“Kris,” Adam cut him off, suddenly feeling too tired for the conversation.  “I’ll be fine.  You and Katy have fun, I’ll see you as soon as I can.”

“Fine,” Kris said, then muttered, “why do I always let you have your way?”  But there was fondness underlying the words.

Adam gave a quick smile.  “Because you know I’m right.  Goodnight, baby.”  He hit End, then stared at the blank screen for a moment, smile falling away.  He tossed the phone onto a side chair and laid back on his bed with a sigh.

*

Katy’s smile dropped as soon as they were in the car.  She looked out the window at the paparazzi while Kris put the car into gear, pulling away from the restaurant.  She felt queasy.

“I didn’t like that,” she said quietly, not entirely sure if she wanted Kris to hear.

His fingers tightened on the wheel, knuckles washing white.  He was silent for a beat.

“I didn’t either,” he murmured finally, and Katy let go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding.  “It felt like lying.”

“It felt like _cheating_,” Katy replied, surprising herself with her vehemence.  She gave an unhappy laugh.  “How’s that for irony?”

Kris had his lower lip tucked between his teeth.  He released it, and Katy watched the color flow back into the soft flesh.  “He wanted us to do it.  And he’s right, it’ll be good to throw people off the scent.  We’ve all been hanging out a lot more than normal lately.”

“Oh, he’s usually right,” Katy agreed.  “I’m sure our publicists are happy.  But I’m not, you aren’t, and I don’t care if it was Adam’s idea, when he sees the pictures I’m pretty sure he won’t be either.”

Kris ran a hand over his face.  “There’s nothing else we can do.  Not unless we want a whole lot more shit than I think any of us wants to take on.”

Katy didn’t reply, letting him take her silence as agreement.  But as she watched the lights and cars flash by, she knew that one day they would have to make a choice.


	4. Chapter 4

Stability, in Katy’s opinion, was something essential to all new relationships; a necessary condition that enabled them to grow. 

It was also a luxury they didn’t have.

She kind of hated it; she could feel the hesitation in Adam’s actions, the lack of certainty in their boundaries.  But she didn’t know what could be done about it - they’d already said what needed to be said, and she didn’t think one more conversation would make things any clearer.  It was something they’d have to settle into, establish over time; the kind of thing that would only sink into their souls with its truth after they had lived it over and over.  Until it became second nature.

There was no rule book for their relationship.  Katy had always found comfort in the ability to turn to her parents or married friends for advice when necessary.  But there were no successful threesomes that they could look at and learn from, no precedent; only them feeling their way as they went along.  Sometimes she longed for someone to talk to about it - someone who wasn’t Kris or Adam, who could provide an outsider’s perspective.  She wished she could tell her mom it wasn’t so bad when Kris was out of town now, because sometimes Adam was there.  Or how much worse it was when they were both gone.

The lack of guidance frightened her sometimes - she was a planner, she liked to examine possibilities and anticipate problems so they could be avoided.  But in so many ways they were flying blind, and while her mind had no trouble conjuring up potential problems, it was more difficult to discover solutions.

Some days she would get online and research; just because they didn’t know any threesomes didn’t mean they didn’t exist, after all.  And the internet was safely anonymous.  But searching for the things she was looking for was hazardous - there was inevitably a lot of porn and explicit content that made her feel dirty as soon as she saw it.  That wasn’t them; it wasn’t about getting off, being kinky, or anything sordid. 

Even when she managed to find a couple of message boards that dealt seriously with ménage à trois relationships, she didn’t find much applicable information.  The relationship between she, Kris, and Adam was unique in many ways; they weren’t part of any scene, they were built on a preexisting, committed relationship.  Though there were a few like them, most of the information she just couldn’t see as relevant.

They were on their own.  Although Katy felt that on the whole they were doing a good job with what they had, Adam never seemed quite settled.  He never really lost that hesitance, the uncertainty that he would be welcomed; never quit glancing at her as if he needed permission.

She did notice that he didn't behave that way towards Kris, however - never acted as though he wasn’t allowed to have her.  She wasn’t sure why that was - if it was because he didn’t want her the same way, if he didn’t expect Kris to be threatened by him, or if Kris had somehow been able to convince Adam that he didn’t mind.

She wished she could persuade Adam that _she_ didn’t mind, but knew it wouldn’t be strictly true.  Kris’ face would light up at the sight of Adam, in a way it used to only do for her.  Adam’s attention always gravitated towards Kris like a compass swings north.  There were times when she just couldn’t suppress the jealousy - though whether it was of Adam or of Kris, she wasn’t certain. 

And yet, she still loved seeing them together.  Kris’ face had always been transparently expressive, a characteristic she’d protected zealously in high school.  His unguardedness was treasured by her, and she hadn’t been about to let high school jocks tease it out of him.

The way he looked at Adam, with so much warmth and affection, had always made her smile.  Sure, there had been hero worship in the beginning, which had just been cute; but it had settled into a deep friendship and love, a total comfort.  Kris liked - loved - a lot of people, but Adam was different.  Adam was the exception to many things.

But most precious to her was the way Adam looked at Kris.  There was an awe present in his face, a wonder, every time he looked at her husband.  An expression that told her Adam knew the value of Kris’ love, and treasured it as she did.  Yet it always seemed as if it were a surprise to him, like he couldn’t understand where it came from or how long it would last.

Katy longed for the day that he would.

***

Katy looked up from the lettuce she was shredding when she heard the front door open.  Adam’s dark head appeared through the door, and she smiled.  “Hey!” she called happily, wiping her hands on a towel before stepping away from the counter.  “How was your day?”

There was a thump as Adam dropped his bag on the floor.  “Fabulous,” he said flatly.

She frowned as she stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss.  He returned it perfunctorily, and she pursed her brows together.  “What happened?”

He sighed and went to the fridge, pulling out a beer before plopping down in a chair at the table.  “Nothing.  Just a lot of meetings.”

“You were going over tour stuff today, right?”  She kept her gaze on him as she walked back to the kitchen counter. 

“Yeah.”

Her eyebrows rose a little at the non-answer, but she didn’t press, instead returning her attention to the salad she had abandoned.

Adam’s phone rang, and he muttered a curse as he pulled it from his pocket and answered.  He exchanged terse words with the person on the other end, then hung up, setting his phone down with a clatter.

“Where’s Kris?”

“At rehearsal still.”  She began dicing a tomato.  “They had some technical issues so it ran over.”

“Figures,” Adam muttered, and Katy put down the knife and walked over to him.

“Hey,” she said softly, sliding her hands along his shoulders and kneading gently.  “Please tell me what’s the matter.”

He remained tense for a moment, then released a long breath and slumped back in the chair.  “No, I’m sorry.  It’s not a big deal.  Just too much drama over one tour.”  He ran a tired hand over his face.

“Want to talk about it?” she offered, taking her hand and running it through his hair.  He was wearing it down, and the long strands flowed smoothly between her fingers.  “I don’t mind listening to you vent.”

He unwound further, head rolling back against her while she continued to stroke his head.  “No, s’okay,” he said, eyes drifting shut.  “It’s nothing.  I’m just letting the pressure get to me.”

She didn’t push further, instead just rubbing her fingers gently through his hair, feeling him grow relaxed and pliant.  Several minutes went by before he pushed away and said, too cheerful, “So, what’s for dinner?”

*

Adam had gone through three beers before dinner was half over.  By the time they had finished and moved to the couch, he’d become maudlin, and was leaning heavily on Kris, head resting on Kris’ shoulder.

Kris shot Katy a questioning look over Adam’s head, but she just frowned and shrugged back.  Reaching out, she took Adam’s hand in hers, stroking the long fingers.  His hand tightened in hers, his rings pressing almost painfully.

She had to try once more.  “Adam, please tell us what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing!” Adam snapped, yanking his hand away.  “God, Katy, can’t I just be in a bad mood?  I don’t push you when you’re PMSing.”

Katy recoiled a bit and exchanged a shocked look with Kris, while Adam pressed himself tighter to her husband’s side.

“Hey, shh, it’s okay,” Kris said, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him closer.  “You don’t have to talk about it.”

Katy pulled her lip in with a frown, more than a little irritated.  Sitting stiffly, she felt awkward, but knew that leaving would come across as pique. 

The air was tense for several moments before Adam muttered, “I need to go home.”  He pushed himself up from the couch, not looking at either of them.  “Thanks for dinner.”

Katy glared at the door as it shut behind him, but couldn’t hold back the concerned question: “Will he be okay to drive?”

Kris chewed on his lip, gaze fixed on the door.  “Yeah, he should be fine.  He’s got a pretty high tolerance.”

She snorted.  “For alcohol, maybe.”  With her immediate fears eased, anger was the forefront emotion.

Kris glanced over at her.  “I’m sorry he spoke to you like that.”

She waved a hand.  “Don’t apologize for him, Kris.  He’s an adult, regardless of how little he acts like it; he can apologize himself.”

“Something must have been bugging him.”

Katy blinked at him.  “You think?” she asked, sarcastic.  “Why do you think I asked him about it?”

He gave a half smile.  “He doesn’t like being pushed.  He’ll talk about it if and when he wants to.”

“Of course.”  Katy crossed her arms.  “You would know, since you’re his best friend and everything.”

“Katy-”

“Stop.”  She rubbed her face with both her hands.  “I’m going to bed.”  She turned and left the room.

*

She didn’t feel any better by the time she climbed into the enormous bed, the additional space making her feel small, invisible.  She curled up a little tighter when she felt Kris climb in behind her.

“Katy.”  Kris’ voice was soft, as was his touch on her shoulder.  “I’m sorry if it felt like I was taking Adam’s side.  I didn’t mean to.”

She took a deep breath, trying to untangle all the emotions inside of her.  It was difficult to separate which ones were directed at Kris, and which at Adam.  She didn’t want to go to sleep angry; she and Kris had promised never to do that, and if they hadn’t been entirely successful in the past, she at least wanted to make the effort.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” she replied, and felt some of the anger lift, if not the hurt.  She turned over to face Kris.  “I’m mad at Adam, really, and I took it out on you.”  She didn’t care to look too closely at all of the reasons for that.

He reached out and wove their fingers together.  “I understand,” he said.  “And in the interest of not taking sides, I think that’s all I’ll say.”

She had to smile a little.  “Thanks,” she whispered.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

*

She didn’t sleep well, and there was a heaviness in her chest when she woke, the kind of thick weight that made it hard to breathe.

Kris left early, for another day at rehearsals, and she found herself wandering aimlessly through their home; going from room to room without any sense of purpose.  Her mind wouldn’t focus, drifting from the fight with Adam to the emptiness of the house.  She felt isolated in a way she hadn’t since the previous year, when Kris had been away on tour.

She clenched her hands into fists, fighting off the encroaching loneliness.  Touring would be different this time, she told herself; she would be allowed to go along, she wouldn’t have to go weeks between the occasions when she could see her husband.  It wouldn’t be as big, as demanding, as insane.

But the idea of a tour brought all those old feelings back, the fight with Adam only serving to make them more powerful.

Her mind returned to Adam, and she wondered if she should be the one to extend the olive branch and apologize.  Or would that be interpreted as pushing him again?  What if he just wanted her to leave him alone?

Frustrated, she turned to the kitchen that she’d been too upset to clean the night before.  Kris had put the pans in the sink to soak, and she felt a little of the tension unwind as she took in the thoughtful gesture. 

She was almost done when she heard a knock.  Drying her hands quickly, she went to the door, opening it to find Adam on the other side.

“Hi,” she said, a little guarded, but stepped back to let him in.

“Hi.”  Adam entered, and she shut the door before turning to him.

“Kris isn’t here.”

“I know.”  His hands were behind his back, and he glanced at the floor before looking up to meet her eyes.  “I came to apologize.  I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you last night.  You didn’t deserve it and I’m sorry.”  His voice was soft; eyes serious and sad.

She looked up at him, gauging his sincerity.  “I’m sorry I pushed you,” she whispered, feeling the upset welling in her chest again.  “I just wanted to help.”  Her throat closed up.

“Oh Katy babe, I know,” he said, and then his arms were around her, and she breathed him in, chest shuddering.  “Shh.  I shouldn’t have said those things to you.  Thank you for caring so much about me.”

She closed her eyes, feeling a couple of tears squeeze out, before taking a deep breath and recovering.  Adam’s hand stroked down her hair and back, soothing her.

“Are you… feeling better today?” she asked, unsure if he would get defensive again.

His hand never stopped its slow rhythm.  “Yes.  The tour was just starting to stress me out.”  His hands tightened on her a little.  “I’m trying to focus on the good and the fun things now, and not think about the stressful parts.”  He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.  “Stressing doesn’t help, it just makes me hurt people I care about.”

“Okay,” she whispered, and hugged him again.  She knew she was only getting the vaguest of explanations, and wished that he would be more open with her; would allow her to help.  It felt like she was always on the outside of the connection he shared with Kris, and the knowledge hurt her more than she cared to acknowledge. 

Large hands came up to cup her face, and she leaned back.  His thumbs brushed the tear tracks from her cheeks, slate blue eyes gentle as they took in her face.  Then he leaned down and kissed her forehead, lips soft against her skin.

Part of her wanted to resist, still wounded by his exclusion.  But when he pulled her to his chest again she melted into him, closing her eyes and pressing her face into his shirt, while his arms surrounded her with strength and affection.  Her breath hitched a little; she wanted this from him so much, yet couldn’t ignore how much of himself he was holding back.

After a long moment he pulled away, and stroked her face once more before reaching up to take her hands in his.  He gave her a crooked smile and kissed her fingers before letting their hands drop.  “Are we okay?”

She studied his face for a moment, not honestly sure.  And yet, she knew that changing their relationship was going to take more than this one conversation; she would have to win his trust before the real issue could ever be resolved.  For now, she would work with what she was given.

“Yeah, we’re okay,” she said, and pulled up a saucy grin.  “I’ll just be sure to be bitchy to you next time I’m PMSing.”

A laugh burst from Adam, a joyful sound that made her smile for real.  “Fair enough,” he agreed, eyes still crinkled at the corners. 

She grinned back, feeling somewhat lighter.  “Now go.  I’m sure you’re already late for wherever you’re supposed to be.”

“It was worth it.”  He bent to kiss her, swiftly.  “I’ll see you tonight.”

***

Katy stared down at the calendar in front of her, the squares marked off with red, blue, or - for most of them - both.  Part of her wanted to double-check the schedules she’d printed out, but she knew she had it right.

She scanned the month, then flipped to the next one, and the next, looking for the white squares that would signify a day off for both Kris and Adam.  There were alarmingly few, aside from a five-day break about six weeks in.  And never more than two days off in a row for either of them.

She tamped down the sense of foreboding that was rising in her stomach.  It was a long time to be apart from each other, but they could do it.  She and Kris had done it the previous summer…

She closed her eyes against the thought, instinctive dread curling in her.  They had done it, but it had been misery, and the hardest thing she’d ever done.

Taking a deep breath, she returned to the schedules, writing the city down in each calendar square.  Surely there were days where it wouldn’t be too difficult to jump a plane and visit.  She was determined to find some.

*

An hour later, she sat back in defeat.  When Kris was in Philadelphia, Adam was in Phoenix.  If Adam was in Denver, Kris was in Orlando.  They would both be in California at the same time - but during a hectic week that Katy knew would be crammed with publicity.  She hugged herself a little.  There were phone calls, and texting, and Skype, they could see each other every day if they wanted.  They would survive; there was nothing else to be done. 

She heard a key in the door, and quickly closed the calendar.

***

The day of his first concert, Adam felt like he was going to jump out of his skin.  Energy buzzed in his fingertips, a jones that would only be satisfied by the crowd; yet his stomach turned with anxiety, as he wondered if Kris and Katy would make it to the venue on time.

He didn’t have much opportunity to dwell on it, finding himself shuffled from one interview to the next, then soundcheck, then meet and greets.  But it didn’t stop his subconscious from knowing, from tying his body in knots and whispering fear in his mind: _What if they can't get away?  What if their flight gets delayed?  _

_What if we don't get to say goodbye?_

They hadn’t spoken much of the impending separation, steadfastly ignoring the growing tension, Kris insisting they would be at his first show.  Adam had known that such denial was probably bad, but had gone along with it, willing to ignore the painful reality for as long as possible.  But now, he couldn’t stop thinking about all the things left undefined, of their last night together that they’d all tried desperately to pretend was normal.

He bolted from hair and makeup, halfway done, to take in the first part of Allison’s set.  It was still daylight, and the seats were half empty, but the audience gave her a warm welcome anyway.  For several wonderful minutes he let himself go in his _hermana_’s music, reveling in the sense of pride and admiration he felt for her, before Lane was tapping his shoulder and insisting that he return to makeup.

It was there that the door opened and his lovers stepped in, tiny and perfect and smiling big and warm; he could cry from the relief of it, wanted to kiss them, and if it had only been two days how would he feel after two weeks?  But there was no time for dramatics, so he hugged them tight and exclaimed over them for a moment before being forced back into the chair again.

Something unclenched after that, and when he stepped onstage, all he could feel was the rush of performing. It was the moment he’d dreamed of, prepared for, pursued all those years: headlining his own tour, with his own music, his own vision, playing to a sold-out crowd who was loving every moment.  He couldn’t see Kris or Katy from the stage, but he knew roughly where they were, and the simple knowledge of their presence poured joy on top of joy.

It was an inundation of emotion, overwhelming even in a way that Idol wasn’t, and he was high on adrenaline, arousal, love and music and _success_ by the time he completed his second encore.  Backstage was the best mob ever, and when Kris attacked him with a giant hug, he was hard pressed to not push him against the wall and bring their mutual high to a catalyst. Kris’ mouth brushed his ear: “I want you so bad right now.”

His voice was low and gravely from shouting, and Adam groaned, cock pulsing as he struggled to not let his desire show on his face.  He couldn’t resist pressing his lips to Kris’ head, but then forced himself to let go.  He turned to Katy, who was watching them with flushed cheeks, and wrapped her in a tight hug.  “How long can you stay?”

She returned it, clinging just a little.  “We have to leave for the airport in an hour,” she said, voice tight, and Adam felt his breath catch at how little time they had left.

Then there was a tap on his shoulder, pulling him away, and he realized that there was really no time at all.


End file.
